The UGLIEST skirt ever - Transformed

I woke up this morning and thought, “Ugh, tomorrow is Sunday. If I make it to church that means… I have to wear something. My least favorite thing about church. I haven’t had church clothes that I like since… well, I don’t remember. Plus, my my very tall but skeletal body is such a pain to dress. I’ve never had a bum. Or thighs. I’ve always shopped in the guy’s section for pants and for shirts with long enough sleeves. That doesn’t help my church clothes situation.

  A mirror "selfie" to show the ugly skirt.

The ugly shirt, lying down, to show the hideous construction and ugly flowers around hem.

A couple of years ago I was desperate for something to wear on Sunday, so I found a couple of skirts for a good price at Penney’s and bought two cute blouses to go with them. Both blouses are nice enough that I wore the skirts, in spite of them making me look more skeletal. Every time I’d use the ladies room I’d face that horror of a full length mirror while washing my hands, then walking out. Ugh - no bum or thighs and I looked ridiculous in skirts that really are meant for women who have both!

So after my waking thought about Sunday and clothes, I went to my closet, got out the skirts and immediately began dissecting them with my eyes. I will now just focus on my black skirt - the ugliest one! I have always hated the full skirt shape and detested the fabric flowers that went around the hem. Just SO SUPER UGLY! There is no fashion involved in this skirt. After a few minutes of trying the skirt on, inside out, playing with pins and chalk, and thinking what I love right now that’s in style, I knew what I wanted to do!

After a few minutes with my scissors and sewing maching - the ugly skirt has been transformed - it’s now fitting on my very slim, no curves body, and doesn’t have that ugly, no style full hem! I even kept some fabric flowers since they look great on this new look!

Another mirror "selfie"

showing the 

reconstructed skirt. 

Plus the skirt lying flat

with the top.

The back hem - showing the

slit made for walking

Thanksgiving Blues

Thanksgiving Blues

I wish there was a holiday all about music (not food). I’d be happy to say,

I’m thankful for Tchaikovsky. I’m thankful for Eminem. I’m thankful for whoever made Les Mis. I’m thankful for Prince, Michael Jackson, George Michaels, The Cure and Depeche Mode.  I’m thankful for multiple octaves plinking up and down the piano, electric guitar when it’s SLAMMED into DISTORTION. I’m thankful for FEELING every bit of the concert by Muse. It moved me in ways I didn’t know I could still - literally made me dance, bounce, jump and live again. I’m thankful for One Republic. For Diddy. For Cage the Elephant. I’m thankful for MGMT, INXS, NKOTB, BSB and NSYNC.

Instead of the month of November Facebook posts saying “Today I’m grateful for….”, so special. Special. Did I say SPEEECIIIAAAAL? I really do want to say I’m thankful for Live. And I’m thankful for Maroon 5. For Keith Urban/Blake Shelton/Georgia Florida Line. I’m thankful for Kid Rock/Linkin Park/Radiohead. I’m thankful for Brittney Spears/Ke$ha/MileyCirus.

Gosh dangit! I’m thankful for beeeauuuutiful viola, fiddle, harmonica and acoustic guitar. I’m thankful for brass bands, marching bands, jazz bands.

I’m SOOOO thankful for soundtracks to movies! Soundtracks to televisions shows! And I always have a running soundtrack in my head, that I call The Soundtrack to My Life.

I’m thankful for Ruben Studdard, Babyface, Usher, Robin Thicke and the like. And I’m thankful for JC Chazes, even though he didn’t go on to be Justin Timberlake. He should have.

I’m thankful for The Voice. Dang if it isn’t the VERY BEST music competition show ever made! Thank you Adam, CeeLo, Christina, Blake, and especially for Usher and Shakira for making it better… Christina seems to have a completely new attitude. Plus she’s covered up that gross boobage.

I’d love to say on a certain day, “I’m thankful for… that new band that just played on Jimmy. Didn’t catch the name but I’m always happy for new music!”

(I have to add that I’m not thankful for Bob Dylan, Joe Cocker or the like.)

I’m thankful I grew up hearing symphonies, seeing great soloists with The Utah Symphony. For playing viola in The Granite Youth Symphony, in Eisenhower Jr High and Cottonwood High Orchestras!

I’m SO thankful I played fiddle at The Barn for four whole years!

I’m so thankful my three kids inherited my LOVE for good music! I’m thankful that they saw Live and The Backstreet Boys with me. That when grown up, Kayli went to New Kids On The Block with me. That Jake went to Muse with me. And that Laci went the second time I got to see Musie! I’m thankful my wonderful wonam/Stef saw Extreme, several sexy R&B singers and Prince with me! And even though Brian likes to pretend he doesn’t care about music, I’m thankful he LOVED seeing Harry Connick Jr. with me, and also his favorite - Bryan Adams, doing an acoustic concert! Happiness!

You can probably guess by now I could go on for a few days with the like.

So, FOOD. Thanksgiving is about food. I like food. I love food. But AN ENTIRE HOLIDAY about food is just too much pressure! When I was a little girl it was about seeing my fun cousins every year! That was a blast! As I grew up it became a day when I’d sit, squished into many tables full of family who ate and ate, while I sat with a hurty tummy and wished I could eat too. Then sadly, amongst the eating, I also became the butt of some very unfunny jokes. As much as I want to forget that and move on, it happens when these certain people get together, and that’s ususally at family affairs involving food. So no, I don’t love sitting with family at a gathering centered around FOOD. And I hate feeling sad watching people eating things that I loved, but haven’t been able to eat for so long. I’m sad that I was the person who loved to spend a whole day making everyone’s favorite pies, including mine, but no longer get to eat them.

So I also hate that November, which is a beautiful, crisp month with crunchy fallen leaves, that includes the date I was married and also several birthdays of people I love - has that BIG holiday I don’t love. Instead of getting together with decorations of turkeys and pilgrims, I’d love to get together to listen to music, play games, and enjoy family in general!

It’s not that I’m not grateful. I am. But I’d sure love a month centered completely around music!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0LgcDpTH47g

Yo-yo what???

I saw a picture... pretty little, interesting circles on a board placed as a decoration next to a plant. Labeled "yo-yos". What? I googled and googled.... only to come up with toy stores and the thingies that you yank on a string and do tricks with. Like Andy used to do.... very awesome stuff - we called Andy "Yo-yo boy."

So I googled and googled some more. Cloth sewn up to half it's size, by hand - using cardboard circles to trace on cloth to be cut out. Something that would be fun to do with all my many remnants when I'm feeling antsy watching my reality shows on TV.

It took a long time to figure out how to get into Brian's new tool chest so I could use a box cutter to make my cardboard circle - twice the size of the yo-yos. I wanted to make some to decorate the window in my fun-room. The colors I wanted were green, purple and pink. But I have two very important paintings for that room that are mostly red... so I needed to incorporate red into the mix. After weeks waiting for Brian to show me how to get into his tool chest I cut my cardboard circle, traced, cut out fabric and began sewing my yo-yos and enjoying my reality shows. They were like a drug.... very addicting for a compulsive addict! I soon had many and wondered how I'd put them together. Just sewn, or on strings? I bought some tulle... and was amazed when cutting and putting together that with NO CATS - it didn't get all chewed up and ruined with cat spittles all over it!!! This shows the process of lying the yo-yos out on my living room floor to see how many I had and just how I might put them together.

In my fun-room Brian hung a 2 dollar drape rod so I could put them together. I liked some of the fun hangy pictures I had seen long ago on pinterest when searching for wedding decoration ideas. There were windows with hanging carnations or gems. This inspired my yo-yo hanging. I put them together to cover above the window - like a wall hanging or the original decoration I'd first seen them on. I was yo-yo crazy and decided it would be fun to make a cover for my front door window. It's frosted but at night when the lights are on you can see in (I've seen my next-door-neighbors when I've been there at night.) So when I'm ghosting through the house at night looking for a water bottle or snacks in the kitchen I'm sure everyone loves seeing me in my next-to-nothingness. First I made a light green window cover with magnets at the top and bottom. But when the yo-yos were attatched they were heavy and sagged in a horribly funny fashion! Dang! This disaster was thrown into my closet to be hidden in SHAME! Too bad my cute giraffe print was for nothing! But I got more green fabric and gathered it, then added magnets to make a simple window cover. Wow - it looks like such a GRANNY house now!!!

I got yo-yo crazy when wrapping packages and made tiny ones to add for decorations. Hmmm.... do you think the blue flowered "caterpillar" looks too girly for this boy present? Probably doesn't matter, since the gift is for Nate's baby boy, and Brian probably won't get around to us actually going there while this baby is still small enough to fit in the cute little outfit and sandals inside. Perhaps it will just sit here and wait until someone produces us with a grandson???

Oh yes, here's the mess of yo-yos that became my front door decoration.Yep, it's true I used garbage from my recyclable bag, including a Crunch n Munch popcorn box that was painted (but the back isn't so it looks tacky in the house where we still see the Crunch n Munch box), other random cardboard and an "M" for McCrea I printed, cut out, then sprayed to make it water proof.

A Bridal Backdrop - VERY CHEAP for a fussy bride =)

My daughter didn’t want to use the bridal backdrop that is in my family, the very nice one my brother made years ago, that has been used for many of my nieces and nephews  weddings, has been repainted and is still looking great! I told her we could make it look cute using her icicle Christmas lights with sheer cloth over them draped over the top. She still didn’t like it. She said it looked like a “fence.” Having looked on about every website possible, trying to think up original ideas or things that you might hang stuff from, and knowing that bridal backdrops cost a fortune (and I really had no budget) I was frustrated… as usual. Really? Typical day living with my very own BRIDZILLA daughter. But come on, she will only get married once! She’s a very beautiful, princessy girl who deserves MUCH love and fuss from her mommy! And may I add that I was SO HAPPY that she found THE GUY and would be able to begin her happily ever after?

We found different ideas for cute things that hang, but I just couldn’t figure out HOW we’d hang them! I even emailed the brother that made the family bridal backdrop to ask if he had any ideas. He didn’t answer, and I wouldn’t have either! I’m not a wood craftsman and couldn’t figure out how to hammer boards together to make a decent looking frame.

I got this idea from looking at a photographer’s site. He used PVC pipe to make a backdrop that he used to hang a curtain from. I also learned that a length of 6 feet is the longest that a joint can support. My daughter wanted her backdrop to be longer than 6 feet, so I decided to put a post in the middle to double it.

If we had more money to spend I would have bought some really big vases and either rocks or marbles to fill them to stand the PVC in. But needing to be super CHEAP, I decided  to use T-joints to make stands on the floor. Not the most stable thing, but it worked! (Just had to stand it back straight a couple of times when kids ran through the fun decorations.)

One more thing I should explain. Instead of having the guy at Lowes cut the pipe into 6 foot pieces, I bought 2 foot pieces that were already cut, along with 2 straight joints to make each 6 foot section. The idea behind that 1) it wouldn’t require a huge truck or trailer to haul the pipes and 2) the backdrop could be easily carried in a bag (not plastic – too heavy. I used a strong T-shirt bag).

Since I don’t have great pictures of the whole thing I’ll explain the best I can.  

I bought 15 2-foot pieces. (I chose 1 inch thick.) Three for each 6 foot section – three posts and two across the top. I bought 2 corners – for the corners (duh!). I bought 4 T-joints. One to join the middle of the backdrop where there would be an extra post to hold it up, and 3 to put at the bottom of the posts to make it stand up. (Also 10 straight joints to help form the straight posts and top - 2 for each 6 foot piece).

Kayli  decided she’d like GOLD for the color – not typical white and weddingy. I spray painted the pipes and joints gold. It was HILARIOUS because I was having a lovely, very crippled kind of day, so I took the PVC, cardboard to spray on(I really should have just let he grass be gold!) and spray paint to the side of our house so hopefully the neighbors wouldn’t see me. I was having a “mumu” kind of day and was also using my cane to hobble around. I managed to get myself and all the stuff to the side of the house. The pipes kept trying to roll all over the cardboard… the bit of wind blowing didn’t help!  I tried my best to get them to sit still long enough to get one side sprayed. Incidentally, my grandson thought it would be fun to take my cane and run away with it! Hilarity ensued, as I tried to “chase” him, even though I was having a crippled, hobbling day, and I couldn’t run at all, or hardly walk. He took my BRAND NEW cane and had banged it against the brick on the next door neighbor’s house several times before I caught up to him. My black handle was all scuffed and ugly. Oh well. He enjoyed it very much! And black marker DOES cover scuffs on black handles. =)

The pipes dried quickly so I sprayed the other side. They didn’t get perfectly covered since I didn’t feel  good enough o make them perfect.

I ordered some gold, sparkly tulleribbon from papermart. My daughter chose some pretty beads that I found onAmazon. She made some small tissue paper flowers in her wedding  colors and attatched them to fishing line. I bought a few silk flowers in her colors that I thought I’d add to the sides. When  we ordered our rental things, I ordered some extra ties for the chairs in case we wanted them for other decorating.

Assembly:

1.       Putting PVC pipe together and adding ribbon. At the church (still feeling VERY crippled) I sat on the floor to put the pieces together – very easy to do when you’re dealing with 2 foot PVC pieces! Assembly was very quick! Then I used the sparkly glitter tulle ribbon, tied (or pinned) it to the bottom of each stand, then I wrapped it around and around, winding the ribbon up, around the corners and continuing until all of the stands and top were covered. Not only was this pretty, but it covered up the not-so-perfectly painted spots and gave me something to pin decorations to.

2.       I spaced the strands of tissue paper flowers by draping them over the top, while I adjusted them evenly. I then pinned the top flower right through the tissue to the tulle ribbon.

3.       The crystal bead came on a roll that was 90 feet long. I cut them in something like 5 foot lengths. As many as I could get out of the roll. I put them in between the flowers and had one left. I cut it in half then put the halves by the pole ends. I pinned these to the back side of the poles, then draped them over so the pins wouldn’t show.

4.       I took the silk flowers, divided them so they’d be the same for each side, put them together, sort of in bouquet form with green floral tape to hold them together. Then I wrapped more gold tulle through the flowers, attaching them to the posts.

5.       I was going to use a couple of the chair ribbons on the corners, but my son-in-law’s brother happened to be better at decorating than I was (seriously!) so he put two colors together to make really pretty bows!

TaDa! I really wish I had better pictures… but hopefully you get the idea from the corners and from the cute picture of my granddaughter, my daugher and her cute husband in front of some of the pretty beads and flowers!

 Oh, and that's me peeking here in the green dress in the corner!

Top Ten Mother-Of-The-Bride Worries

1.Don't offend the bride

1.b. When you do, make it up to her by buying something ridiculously expensive (or super creative, to seem ridiculously expensive) for her wedding.

 (After seeing how expensive cake toppers are, I made this of Kayli & Peter.

Trust me, painting something that tiny is hard! And getting tissue paper to

work when making tiny flowers, a bouquet and the ruffly skirt... impossible!)

2.Buy a zillion silk flowers and ribbon in the colors of the reception.

2.b.When the bride changes her mind, buy a zillion more flowers and more ribbon.

3.Try to make the ugly dress you ordered to wear as mother-of-the-bride work, even though it’s PURPLE and not a pretty shade of red (raspberry), has tacky rhinestones instead of beading and it doesn’t fall loosely like the dress online. (Save for fall when someone might buy it online for Homecoming Dance season.)

3.b. Sew a dress using a cute pattern. (When it turns out to look very homemade and not fancy enough for a special occasion, hang in closet to use for summer dress.)

3.c.In desperation find one at JC Penney with slit sleeves. Order online so it’s in your size. Sew seams together and attach to the bottom of sleeves to make modest.

3.d.Purchase tattoo cover up since the back of the dress has a V-neck and your tattoo clashes with the color of the dress

  

(One to show my third dress, with sleeves fixed to be mode st. Actually showing off my darling grandson - Gavin enjoying a cupcake with his Grammy!)

4. Watch youtube videos to learn how to make fondant and all that other crap that you swore you’d never do – anything to please your little “princess!”

5.  Find exactly the right frosting tip.

5.b. When the frosting tip is too difficult and takes too much frosting, talk the bride into spreading the frosting by blackmailing her that you will make pretty fondant flowers for the tops of the cupcakes.

6.  When she changes her mind about using limes in the centerpieces… feel frustrated. Wait. Buy limes, put them in vases with some of her flowers to show her how much she really wants them!

7. Make bouquets, including an extra one to throw. Also, one for the miniature maid of honor.

7.b. Make mother’s corsages, father’s, grooms and best man’s boutonnieres.

7.c.Make several bouquets from the remaining flowers to decorate the reception. And DO use all the flowers that are in the wrong colors, because together they look SO BEAUTIFUL!

8. Try not to be sick when all you want to do is lie in bed.

8.b. Give up and order receptions items on the internet.

8.c. Worry about how you’ll be at the wedding in your condition, even if you have to resort to buying a wheelchair and a cane.

8.d. When you KNOW you’ll never survive the entire wedding in one day (but your daughter is stubborn and insists) get creative. Offer the bride and groom a very nice, romantic, theme suite for their wedding night – they’re choice! Even when they pick one that is twice what you planned on paying. Check out Romeo's Retreat.

9. When the company who is making the bridal gown emails you (after taking a month and a half to make the gown) that the shoulder measurement is an inch and a half too small so they have to start over, breath. Then email them back saying, “HURRY FAST!” And hope they get it sewn and shipped as fast as they did for me. We had time to have it pressed, which took the cleaners a week.

10. Get smart and ask kind family members to bake the cupcakes when the bride runs out of time.

10.b.Somehow ignore the pig mess in your house when wedding guests come to your very small, wedding-stacked house, along with the dirty bathroom, to help frost the cupcakes.

(This is my sweet daughter, Laci who was a WHIZ at cupcakes!)

 Okay, let’s get REAL. TEN??? Seriously?

11.Try not to show your witchy side every time the groom is over, which is every day.

11.b.Try to genuinely accept the apologies he makes when the bride doesn’t appreciate the job you are doing.

11.c. When the groom tells your daughter on the Sunday before the wedding that he told his parents t “they,” meaning your daughter and him will take care of the wedding luncheon – DON’T FREAK OUT! Sure, you thought his family had it handled. Kindly tell you daughter to go ahead and order a platter and some rolls from Costco. Accept donations of paper plates, etc from your very kind sister. Try not to think about it. 

 

12.  Even though you’ve practiced the cake, butter cream icing and fondant many times, when the REAL cake has every possible unfortunate thing happen, don’t panic. Yes, you may be heard saying, “I will NOT be there when she eats that wedding cake!” And you may totally mean it! (Notice my "concerned" look while they cut the cake.) And honestly, when you open the box holding the fondant covered layers to find that a piece of fondant STUCK to the lid of the box… remember your own wedding day and all the disasters! Try everything you can think of… then fill in the hole with white butter cream icing (that you 

have handy to assemble the cake and attach 

the flowers) to fill in the hole and hope no 

one actually looks at the cake.

13. When you’ve made it past the wedding and are still alive at the luncheon, feel the joy! At least until you discover your ankles are as thick as an elephants and you can’t walk, move, or feel your feet. Kindly ask your other very helpful and loving daughter if she can quickly get you home! Prop those ankles higher than your heart with ICE for the remainder of the day and HOPE you’ll make it to the reception.

 

14. Even though you’re at the wedding reception with dead feet sitting in a wheel chair, smile and enjoy the abundance of guests who keep surprising you when they show up! Try not to cry  when you’re daughter dances with her daddy to his favorite singer – Bryan Adams: Everything I Do. Great choice Kayli. You actually got that Daddy of yours to dance AND cry too!

15. Live for the day when all wedding preparations, events, decorating then taking down decorations when the reception is over. Relax. Breath. Think about being alone with your honey, eating less, having smaller power/gas bills and enjoying the freedom to see a movie and buy a stake/lobster dinner.

A NOTE: I am leaving out MANY things. When I look over the log I kept of money spent on the wedding, I remember the stress and horrors of preparing... and getting through bridezilla moments. This engagement seemed like FOREVER, even though it was actually more like 4 months. Okay, this was not just a wedding. My daughter was going through a rough semester of school,  both she and her fiancé looked for new jobs then changed occupations, there was an entire family involved  - not just a bride and groom (my 2 grandkids were getting a Daddy), and they moved to another city… 

EVERY BIT OF IT WAS WORTH THE HAPPINESS of something SO RIGHT!

(Table displaying "Our Story: Peter & Kayli")

 My WHOLE family! All kids and grandkids =)